With less than 48 hours until kick-off in an historic all-Queensland NRL Grand Final, the country’s largest city is in panic mode.
Sydney, Australia - population 4.3 million souls - is drastically under-supplied with XXXX beer, and equally drastic measures are now being taken to avert a grand-final-day catastrophe.
With an estimated 30,000 Queenslanders heading south for the big game, the rumblings now audible south of the border are not the sound of hundreds of aircraft and buses closing in on the southern capital, they’re the sound of 30,000 worried stomachs clenching in anticipation.
Will ANZ Stadium have enough of the Sunshine State’s favourite drop on the big day? No-one knows, and it’s a blunder that has sent shockwaves all the way to the country's uppermost echelons of power.
While about 70 per cent of ANZ Stadium’s beer taps have reportedly already been changed to pour XXXX, the nation’s leaders are worried that it may not be enough.
Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull is rumoured to be currently in talks with the Chief of the Defence Force, Air Chief Marshal Mark Binskin, to enlist the might of the Australian military to avert the mounting crisis. The plan involves using Royal Australian Air Force C130 cargo aircraft to air drop life-saving kegs of XXXX directly into the centre of ANZ Stadium, where they can do the most good.
"How it has come to this is anyone’s guess,” said a military source who did not wish to be named, "but the city has been caught short, and we need to move heaven and earth to put the situation right.
“The plan is sound - we’ve gone over it time and again: we need to reach the needy as quickly as possible and the best way to do that is to do a drop straight over the stadium playing surface with every plane we’ve got.
Even with such swift and decisive action, it’s unclear whether it will satisfy the thirst of the cane-toad-heavy crowd.
“No-one wants 30,000 Queenslanders who can’t get their hands on a XXXX,” the source said. “That’s a scenario that wakes me up screaming in the middle of the night."